On of the ways that I used to reduce stress in my life was to take night time drives. I would hop in the vehicle at about 1 in the morning and hit the highway.
Driving in the city is not the same as driving on the interstate. I had one particular route that I took and I got so good at it that I knew where all of the speed traps were and I could do over a hundred in some spaces knowing the sirens would never catch me.
I preferred to do these drives in the summer. All the windows down and the music all of the way up. No neighbors to disturb, and on those ‘country’ roads I could see a car behind me miles and miles and miles away.
I took one of those drives the other night. It was almost like old times.
The road was still under construction in the same parts…..that will never end I suspect. The scenery had changed a little but not all that much.
The speed traps were still there but I wasnt doing nearly 100.
Even the iPod on shuffle seemed to know it was deja vu all over again, those same songs that I used to scream out at the top of my lungs were there as well. Like it was 2007 all over again.
As I approached the point where I had to turn around, my chest got tight. I recalled how those last trips ended and those memories were painful. My worst fear was that it WOULD be deja vu all over again.
I knew somehow what I would find, but it didn’t make me less anxious. It didn’t make me feel secure until I’d covered every inch of road.
On the way back towards the city, there was one place left I had to visit. Another familiar route to a familiar destination. I parked for a moment and let all of the history wash over me, finally understanding that my past is not what I should fear. No it is not what I should fear at all.
As I parked in front of the house I sent out a text message. The response was so unexpected I am still shook by it as I type this….two days later.
Things are not all settled…in fact they are about to get shaken even harder to the point that I may not be able to stand once the tremors cease.
What I do know is the tremors won’t be coming from that source.
That is the best news I could ever ask for. Even better than Powerball numbers if you can believe that.