Week One Eagles @ Rams

This is uncharted territory for me constant reader.  Although football and the Philadelphia Eagles are important components of my existence, I’ve never had my own forum to share the thoughts in my mind until now.

Yeah Vizionz is approaching her first anniversary, but I didn’t start the season with her up and running.

The PLAN is …. I will do a breakdown every week of the upcoming game, be as objective as possible and make an accurate assessment of what I think will happen.

Plans in my neck of the woods need to be highly flexible.

What I suspect you will get is 16 weeks of me wishing death upon Andy Reid, praying for the physical health of Michael Vick, and designing the pipe bomb to take out the Green Bay Packers.

I think you will enjoy it though unless you are a:

Cowboys fan
or a
Tom Brady fan.

If you are either one of those you have little intelligence, and zero self respect, and kick cats for shits and giggles.  I have no idea how you found your way to Vizionz if you are either, but I am equally sure that my superior intellect leaves you confounded and well I am just fine with that.

So without additional fan fare:

Week One the Philadelphia Eagles travel to St. Louis to open the regular season.  

I shall keep it real here:  as an Eagles fan it is HARD to ever pick against them.  I want them to go 16-0 every season.  Then again, being an Eagles fan, I know full well that will not happen especially with Andy Reid as our coach.

I thought I could sit and write about all of the wonderful things going for the team, and I will but I live in Neg – a – delphia, I have to first address the problem areas.

Special Teams

Andy Reid in the draft, made yet another bad choice and drafted a kicker.  Henery could be the next coming of the Zendejas brothers and put up better numbers than David Akers, and be a first ballot hall of famer in 40 years.  I will never give him his credit, ever because we drafted him.  You just don’t draft a kicker.  It is not done. He’s a kicker, you pick them up in aisle 9 @ WalMart you do not waste a draft pick on one.

That being said, the kid is accurate.  If he can maintain composure in the real time games?  That remains to be seen, but if he can, I will mourn the loss of David Akers less.

Henry, the punter?  Yeah, not sold on him either.  The kid has a young leg, but so does Matt Dodge.  I have nightmares of being in the NFC Championship game, against Chicago, knowing you are facing Oakland – knowing that 50 of the 53 man roster will be abducted by aliens at Superbowl halftime, and the Lombardi trophy is already on its way to the Linc.  The only thing that could prevent it would be Henry fucking up and kicking to Hester.  I wake up in a cold sweat when Hester hits the 3 yard line.

The Defense

The D Line is much improved over the last three years or so.  The pass rush can get to the QB, and that is a wonderful thing for contracts.  Defensive linemen tend to get more money the more sacs they produce.

The secondary (well the corners) are the envy of the NFL…except for that Samuel not understanding that tackling is a part of the game thing.  If he remains a pick machine though, the average Philadelphian will not care.  Me?  I will still harass him on Twitter about not tackling until he blocks me.

The big ass question mark is linebacker and safety.  We’ve been waiting for a good long while now for Nate Allen to be what Brian Dawkins used to be.  We must still wait.  Allen has so much promise, and I like the kid, but his injuries leave safety a vulnerable position.

The Eagles used to have real linebackers that other teams feared.  That started to not be the case about the time Ray Rhodes became our coach.  Andy Reid though seems to be of the mindset that linebacker is not important, and I am 100% surprised he didn’t give Jeremiah Trotter a call and tell him to pick up Dhani Jones and come on and play.  We are starting a 4th round undersized long haired Matthews Sunday.  *sigh*

Oh and the Matthews playing is not named Clay.

The Offense

This is the bright spot of the team, the razzle and the dazzle and what will get us to the playoffs or have me crying in to my Dawkins jersey in January.

The 100 million dollar QB has a lot to prove.  People are still calling him puppy killer, and saying he has not EARNED his new deal.  Whatever.  The man is a player, and as Indy will find out shortly, if you have a QB not named Kerry Collins you have the chance to win the game.  Vick will improve on his performance last year


The O Line holds up.  The O Line is the biggest question mark for me, on a team with a ton of questions.  As the line goes so does the season.  Its kind of like inheriting a Picasso and then leaving it uncovered in the back yard.  You pay Michal Vick to put an S on his chest and lead your team to the promised land, and then you surround him with 12 year old girls to block for him. SMMFDH

Thankfully Vick is such an “athletic” QB.  :::: blank stare ::::

For the first time since Freddie Mitchell was on the team………okay I will stop playing.  For the first time since T O was on the team I am not angry at the wide outs.  Macklin and Jackson are tiny little speed demons that can blow past most corners in the league.  Jackson is a game changer.   Steve Smith is big enough to run across the middle and we stole him from NY so #winning.

McCoy and Brown in the backfield I am fine with.  I would be fine with Betty White in the backfield to tell the truth because Andy Reid running the ball is just about as likely as Betty White suiting up.

There are many many questions for this team, and it in all honesty is going to take 16 games to figure out the answers.

This team on paper though is better than the Rams in reality.  Bradford is not ready for Samuel – Rogers-Cromartie and that guy who used to play for Oakland.  Stephen Jackson is going to run over Matthews  but it won’t matter.  Bradford has a 5 pick game in him, and it’s coming this week. Why?

The Eagles offense is going to jump out to a 17-3 lead.

The final score will be 24-10 Eagles.

and so it begins……

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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