Friday mornings are like yellow diamonds here in this house.  The midget Dominant is normally off @ school, mom is normally sleeping in.  It is Friday mornings that I use the most to feel like my old self.  This past Friday the midget was sleeping past 7, a quite rare occasion, so I started the coffee pot and decided to catch up on the DVR.  I had over a week’s worth of Maddow and Olberman to catch up on, and I wanted to do an outline of BB Wives LA to keep my streak alive.

Out of no where I got a pain on my right side.  I chalked it up to gas and kept things moving, or tried to at least.  The wonderful thing about gas?  It moves.  Yes it can be quite painful, but it moves.  This pain was not moving.  No tea, no breakfast no treadmill was making this pain subside.

Off to the bodega I go, to pick up some Tums, I simply do not have time for gas.

A funny thing happened on the way back from the bodega …. the vomiting started.  The first expulsion was so disgusting I will not share those details with you, but the vomiting continued, every half hour or so until I was bringing up bile.

By noon the pain in my side was on Defcon 1 and I was writing my last will and testament on a napkin.  Except you could not have read it because my hands were shaking too much from the pain.

When Shannon got to the house about 2ish I was not able to put on my own pants and the ambulance ride to the ER was something so terrible I was sure it was the second coming of the lord.

When they discharged me at 2am ish it was with strict instructions to come back Tuesday.  My gall bladder had said I Quit…and if I did not return within days it would atrophy inside me and I would die….or something like that.

The only reason they let me come home was that my liver was not yet affected and I had to make provisions for Bonnie & Clyde.

Tues at 530 or so I hit the EMPTY ER (praise mandisa) and they begin to do my pre op tests.  The on call surgeons come in to explain well Nicole we can not do the surgery until Wednesday morning.

The fuck outta here you can’t.  I promised my son I would be home tonight.  He’s never had to wake up two mornings in a row without his mother there…we are not starting that now.

It can not be done Nicole, other people have surgery scheduled.  We will fit you in Wednesday morning and you can go home Thursday afternoon.

Right so….I pulled out my beads and started chanting.

I was on the operating table at 11:30 am.

The Man came to get me at about 730 that night…I was keeping my promise, I was coming home to my family.  I was not a lot of help to them, but I was in the house and that is what they needed.  It was also what I needed.

My conversion to Buddhism was no accident, and in a world where faith wains in the face of adversity, I have the biggest stick to wave.  I will always carry that stick.

The Man got me to the front door a little after 8 last night, and the meeting of the three of us produced no drama, no hair pulling, no spitting or name calling.  I didn’t know what to expect, but I am happy that was the result.

I started taking the percocet almost at once, to avoid the pain.  Percocet does stuff to me though….weird stuff.  Stuff like what happened to me at 3:39pm today.

I will keep the details to myself about that…but I can say I highly doubt I would have done what I did if not for the percocet.  I am taking Motrin now….MUCH SAFER.

The interesting thing was the answer was not no.  I am quite unsure how I will manage that information…..but the answer was not no.