Senior CItizen Tweeter

I am too old to be on Twitter.  I get it now.

I don’t think I am leaving, but I will admit that I am too old to be on Twitter.

I’ve been thinking this for a while now, and it came home to me tonight during the Video Music Awards.

My timeline and I rarely have things in common.  If it were not for my epic Tyrese slander most folk would not know who I was….and that is a stretch because well most folk don’t know who I am.

My time line watches things like the BET Awards.  I chalked that up to just not having much in common with the time line.  BET has not been on in this house since I blocked it when Teff was here and I am just fine with that.

I figured I am just not Black enough. Cool.  I’ve been there before I know how that works.

It is not like they are aliens…just the other night @BasseyWorldLive had a wonderful night of slandering Carter4.  I wanted to marry her.

They watch things like Project Runway and Hoarders.  #icant

I just figured we had different taste and most were following me because of my avatar.

Then tonight came along and I realized I am just fucking old.

I haven’t watched MTV in years.  The Real World was still in single digits and they still showed videos.

My time line tonight though was ALLLLLL about the VMAs.

I thought welp tonight will just not be a Twitter night, but then there was mention of a baby bump sighted on Beyonce’s mid section and I tuned in thinking I could see her go awwww and get back to something productive like staring at the wall.

Instead of a baby bump I get Lady GaGa impersonating a T-Bird reject impersonating Elton John.  It was ugly.  Then again most of what GaGa does is ugly because I’ve heard every one of her ‘hits’ before.  She is not original she is just a side show.

Speaking of which this fukery here:

No Need to Adjust Your Screen – That is ACTUALLY What she Wore.

Not only is the child lacking in talent she apparently has no friends because no one told her she looked a fucking fool.

I got up then wondering why ANY BODY over the age of 30 was watching this show and began to wash the dishes.

Then it happened.

Watch The Throne is a much loved album on my time line.  I can only think of one person not impressed – besides me that is.

Other than what I’ve heard drifting through car stereos I’ve managed to not have to listen to WTT.  MTV made sure I didn’t keep the streak alive.

Jay and Kanye performed some song…I liked the beat and that is about it.  Me liking the beat is not a shock, I think Kanye is a brilliant producer, I just don’t want him to open his mouth again.  Ever.

It was then that I realized the VMAs are a reflection of what the kids out there are watching and listening to, and I also realized I am too old.

As much slander as I throw at Jay Z for not being original (seeing a pattern here?) I throw up in my mouth every time I hear someone call lil wayne the greatest rapper alive.

I will take Kanye and Jay over Wayne every day of the week.

I got to thinking when did all these lil motherfuckers end up in the business?

I had Biggie and Big Pun kids these days have lil wayne….what is wrong with this picture?

Its these lil motherfuckers with their lil bit of talent that wont allow me to listen to the radio any longer.

Got Drake?  FUCK NO!  Never had never will.

I am apparently just old.

I refuse to believe that all of these youngins on my time line have no sense.  So the only other explanation is that I am fucking old.

I know they have sense because I follow them.  I may not agree with all of what they tweet but I don’t follow idiots *Tyrese being one obvious exception*

I kind of thought that Twitter was keeping me hip and current.

It is not.

I am an old fart.

 

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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