The idea that Maria Schriver requested spousal support from her soon to be ex husband Arnold got me to thinking. It tends to be a dangerous thing when my wheels begin to turn.
I have a fairly different view of marriage than most of my female counterparts, and I wondered if that idea of marriage also translated to my idea of divorce.
So I got to thinking about the things I dislike about how marriage is defined and thought I would share it with you.
In fairly recent times, in many states in our union the concept of “no fault” divorce took hold and became the standard rather than the exception. I have a problem with the issue of no fault divorce though. Not only does it not actually exist, a disillusion always has a starting point, it makes divorce simpler. I am not not the mindset that divorce should be simple. I think it should be 10 times more difficult than it actually is, for the uber wealthy to the dirt poor and all of us in between.
Other than having a biological or adopted child there is no more recognized or intimate bond than making someone your spouse. If you are going to make that leap, you should do it wisely. If you then realize you need to unmake that leap, it should be so difficult that you either a) never marry again, and save the “state” the burden of keeping up with your spouse of the moment or b) when you make that decision a second time, your extraction from your first marriage was so painful the “state” knows you are not going to go through that twice.
There are always reasons for a divorce…sometimes it is a severe reason such as spousal abuse. On occasion it is simply the person has decided this is no longer where they wish to be, and they want out.
I am not inclined to say stay and be miserable, but I am willing to say, you should pay a price for your decision to walk out on this most intimate of commitments.
I have a handful of friends in the various stages of the divorce dance that are looking at me sideways right now and that is ok. I still feel what I feel.
It’s the reason why I can not see myself in a white gown and rubber chicken for 200. My thoughts vere from the norm.
When you remove ‘fault’ from a divorce proceeding you make things too simple in my opinion. Simple is not what is hot in the streets.
Even if the ‘fault’ is as simple as, he gets on my nerves, fault exists and should be factored into the proceedings when it is time to separate.
I would add in things like 12 months of mandatory marital counseling to the process of getting divorced – then again I am a bit of a sadist.
There is some outrage from the half of the species with penis that Maria would dare ask for spousal support. She’s CAMELOT for crying out loud! She doesn’t need the money!
She may not need the money, but he should still pay it. Again for me it is about penalty for walking away from the commitment.
Yes she filed for divorce, but from what we know publicly, it was his actions (infidelity lying out of wedlock child with the service staff) that drove her to file.
If she can prove he is a fault – he should pay. The reverse would also be true were she the one who’d been unfaithful and deceptive.
No one held a gun to your head ans said marry this person – our family courts should not have to bear the burden of your recent decision that you no longer want to be married to this person.
In the case of Maria, we are not talking about an anonymous woman from small town USA who married anonymous middle manger from any corporation USA.
We are discussion a famous woman (based on her family association and her journalism career) but what happens when the spouse is not famous?
Women who do what Maria did – stop working outside the home to raise a family – women who are not related to a Kennedy do not have as many options. *again this would also be true for a man who is the primary care giver at home while the wife earns most of the money*
In cases like this spousal support is the correct course of action (or a division of property that makes a monetary payment unnecessary)
You have a spouse who gave up their ability to make a career and maximize their earning potential during your marriage, and now that you no longer wish to be married they are at a decided disadvantage.
Spousal support for a period of time is the right thing to do.
It is about restoring the individuals after the decision is made that they will no longer be a whole.
It takes money among other things.
Every decision every action we take int his life has a consequence….what is the issue with paying for them?