One day when I grow up I may be a counselor. My current degree path is to enable me to open a facility that will assist families that have children on the Autism Spectrum with the in between years (8-14) but the degree will also enable me to counsel people.
There is a frightening thought!
Lay on my couch, tell me your issues, allow me to bill your insurance or Visa, and take my advice. A part of me figures why not, I do it all of the time for free anyhow. I am fairly good at helping other recognize what ails them, not AS good at figuring what ails me. So I lay on a couch, tell her my issues, and send the bill to Keystone.
I think often I can do this! I know because of articles like this: Obedient Wives Club
It is the path that I chose after watching the women in my life choose the opposite path and end up bitter and miserable.
But then again it is about much more than just not saying the word no and giving a little head now and then.
Men want to be happy and at peace, hell women want that too, but I think somewhere along the way we forgot – we being women – that it takes a little more than a big butt and a smile to make a man happy.
When I look at successful marriages around me (and I do have a couple that I can look at for an example) the men have peace. When the man has peace the women have reward.
It seems like such a simple concept but then again with 50% of marriages being dissolved it can’t possibly be that simple can it?
One common theme that I have been able to witness with the “stable” marriages is that one or both of the spouses had an example in an older couple to emulate. I have a friend who some would call a serial dater, who laments that the old time values no longer exist and people are not willing to commit as they did in the 50’s and 60’s.
He complains, sometimes loudly, that the women he meets are not willing to be there for better or worse in sickness and in health for richer or poorer. I get the side eye from him when I tell him to meet different women.
His question to me? How do I do it with The Man. My answer is we haven’t done anything YET except make the decision to be transparent, and communicate.
I tell him we can revisit this conversation in 5 years, and he just shakes his head as if I have some secret Bush’s Baked Beans recipie hidden in my brain and refuse to let it out.
I do not. I have no answers and quite frankly most of the time I wonder WHY folk listen to me.
This friend and I often go back and forth about matters of the heart, and it got me to thinking what if he had a woman like me or one of the women in the article? Then what? Would he finally stop bitching about the quality of the women out there, or would he find something else that did not satisfy him?
I am thinking the latter.
His history with women is such that each time (since his divorce) he meets a new lady who captures his attention, he is of the mindset that he really likes THIS ONE but what if he is settling for less than what he could have.
I don’t know how anyone thinks you can maintain a relationship when you are always looking outside rather than within, but again…..I don’t know shit don’t listen to me.
He met Lady X and she was everything that was on his ‘list’ of things that he wanted in a woman. Of the things on that list she hit 97% of the bullet points.
Yet, Lady X was also in “competition” with Lady Y and Lady Z. Yeppers he had two other women that he was considering at the same time he had Lady X on his arm.
When he decided it was time to make a choice and stop having all three….no he did not pick Lady X the 97% – he chose Lady Z who’s percentage was at around 60%.
Needless to say…he and Lady Z are no longer a couple. But what HAPPENED???
His decision he said was not based on this all important LIST, but that at the end of the day Lady Z needed him and Lady X never seemed to need him as much.
So I said: Lady X had most of what you wanted, and WANTED YOU!, but you chose Lady Z because she needed you?
Yes he said.
On second thought perhaps I need to give up my delusions of becoming a psychologist and go work @ Popeye’s. I won’t get confused frying chicken for a living. It’s not like anyone is going to walk in asking for lobster.