Heal Thyself

I used to be really good at taking care of and pampering me. It would make those who know me now chuckle to know that I had a standing Thursday appointment for mani/pedi and never walked out of the house without foundation, eyeliner, and lip gloss at a minimum.
The times have changed though….boy have they ever.
My once a week appointment at the hairdresser has turned into if I don’t go this week I will get charged for a virgin color because I have 2 inches of roots here.
My hands have not seen accryllic nails in over a decade, and relaxers are a thing of the past.
I also used to do things like sleep. If I was tired I slept, period. I didn’t have to worry about what the house would look like when I woke, it would look just like it did when I went to sleep because no one else was there.
One of the things that folk sometimes don’t see in D/s is that the presence of someone else in your life makes you take a harder look at your life – how you are living it – what you are doing with it – how to make it better because THEY inspire you to be better.
No matter the role on the top or on the bottom it makes sense that once you locate someone(s) that you can settle into this dynamic with you want to be the best you can be for that other person.
Should you want it for yourself? OF COURSE! But sometimes it takes that new fresh set of circumstances to make you realize you CAN be better….even if you were the shiznit to begin with.
It all began with one simple thought in a conversation…..no babies. I think folk TRULY underestimate my desire to be a mother of one.
That one thought took me down a whole path that I would not have gone down were it not for the fact that I am determined to never be pregnant again. EVER.
At 38 it was time to revisit that concept of sterilization that I’d entertained in my 20’s. The one where I was months away from the doctor agreeing to perform the procedure and then the midget Dominant pitched a tent, packed a lunch and started singing Jennifer Holiday.
On the real? My first thought was let’s extract the uterus. No uterus, no babies, no periods, no downside. Then logic jumped in and I decided to investigate what I could do to stop my painful cycle, stop the chances of me getting pregnant, and hang onto the uterus.
My GYN and I discussed so many options it’s stupid.
When we finally settled on what we would do, and I got input from those who matter, it occurred to me just how L O N G it’s been since I saw my primary care doctor.
When I say long, it was over 4 years. I’ve been spending a lot of time shuttling Bonnie & Clyde to their appointments and managing their needs that I ignored and buried my own. I will do it next month turned into my doc not even being at the practice any longer and me meeting with a new doctor. In a semi related matter she is the same height as my child and boy is it hard to take her seriously as I look down at her.
I got the message really quick though from all the way down there, when she described just how much I’d changed in the past 4 years.
I knew that something was up, but I ignored it because I kept telling myself …I do not have time to be sick. I still don’t have the time. But I also don’t have the time to hear the lecture on taking care of the property. If you know me,…you know HOW much I LOVE a lecture. Given the choice between krazy gluing my vagina shut and a lecture…..I will take the krazy glue.
The funny thing is I kept telling myself I’m young! And I kind of am…38 isn’t old or at least that is what us 38 year olds tell the kids these days.
So I had a sit down and put it all out on the table and winced to brace myself from the lecture to come and instead it was really short. I want you healthy, let’s get it done.
Let’s get it done indeed.

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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