Adventures in Babysitting

My boy is 10.  Although he still wears pull ups at night, I am well beyond the burping and changing diapers phase of child rearing.

I’ve been pretty vocal about not wanting additional children and this has not changed my mind.  I love kids I do, other folks kids.  I love MY son he is my source of peace and light.  Another child?  Nope not gonna be able to do it sorry.

I like the relative freedom that I have now.  Yes it can be a challenge to gather a sitter who can handle both Bonnie & Clyde, but he is 10 he is not an infant.

Infants are wonderful.  They are cute and they smell nice and when you are as young as my little visitor, all you do is eat, laugh and shit.  But the thing is infants need your CONSTANT attention.  They can not do anything for themselves and they can’t tell you what they need so they cry.

There’s no country for crying babies on my tolerance level right about now.

Bonnie loves babies.  She saw lil dirty and it added 5 months to her life expectancy.  It’s why old people love kids, they steal some of their youth in every kiss.

Clyde was absolutely confused.

When Lexie came by well first her tummy was no longer huge and she was carrying this thing that whined.

Then that little whiny thing was in his momma’s arms


So I spent the better part of the night with a 4 month old in my arms and a 10 year old on my hip.  Not funny.

Lil dirty is a good baby though.  He only whines when he is hungry.  He thought that I could feed him from the source and that frustrated him a little but once I established that my milk was not for him, we were cool.

He likes to grab and laugh and giggle and sleep.

He didn’t even take a shit while his momma wasn’t here… I said he’s a good kid.

But I had to carry him with me everywhere!  I could not leave him for a second, and not just because Clyde may have tried to put out the trash.  But because he is an infant.

Daddy & I talked about kids this go round….he doesn’t want any infants.  Clyde will be enough.   Don’t you want a little namesake I asked.  That got a side eye, and some of you know why.  Don’t you want to change diapers and capture first steps on video and hear da da for the first time I asked?  Another side eye and I decided to quit while I was somewhat ahead.

I have loved Clyde at every stage, but I like him more now.  He can feed and dress himself and if I need to poop he can watch Elmo.  He goes to school.  Although there are still times he crawls on my lap like a toddler, he’s getting too big to sit there really.

We can do stuff like go to the park.  I would say play sports but Clyde is not all that interested.  Remind me to tell you of the time we tried to teach him to play baseball.

This summer my baby incubator will close for good via surgery.  I’m okay with that.  Babies are great….I just don’t want any more of my own.

Now I just need Bonnie to stop asking for a granddaughter.

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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