If you’ve been coming here for a moment you have seen glimpses of this….since the world is ending @ 6 (or not) I thought that I would share something.
In one of my first entries here I said think Sex & the City. I can find a parallel to my life or segments of my life in just about everything but SATC is something special.
I did not set out to be Carrie…and there are lots of people who will tell me ‘you are no Carrie Bradshaw young lady!’ but there are things that are familiar.
That is the biggest appeal of the show to many of us folks with breasts, we can see ourselves in each one of the girls.
People with a little more insight into my sex life say Samantha, people who have worked with me say Miranda. Those who knew me when I was with the ex say (as they throw up a bit in their mouth) Charlotte…..but it’s always been Carrie.
Kind of fitting for an attention whore being the star of the show and all…..but at the end of it all I am more like Carrie than the others, even if there is some of the others in me as well.
Carrie as my role model is maybe not the best thing, and she’s not really a role model in the traditional sense…..despite her wicked shoe game.
I denied lots of my Carrie similarities until this scene from the last season of the show. It was ironic though because my own Mr Big was not on the scene at the time:
I will wait while those of you with diabetes take your insulin……
The snarky, bitter, chick who mocks everything traditional and practical believes in love.
Not just love but the love that makes quotes like this: This type of certainty comes but once in a lifetime (from the Bridges of Madison County)
I believe in a love so grand that they are your first thought in the morning and the last at night
I believe in a love so grand that your heart stops beating every time you see them for the first time that day
I believe in a love so grand that you have physical pains when you are away from them too long
I believe in a love so grand that every other love pales in comparison, and it is an addiction you refuse to even attempt to cure
I believe in happily ever after because that type of love is happy, even if the road to get there can be bumpy at times
I believe in a love so grand that you truly can not live without it….what you are doing when you do not have it is existing and existing is NOT living
I loved that way once.
When that chapter ended I thought that I would never love that way again and I cursed the earth for rotating because every day that went by meant my memory of that love would fade just a little.
I have loved since that ‘great’ love. It was real and complete and total and would have been just fine except…..
the passion and pain and pleasure and bliss that came with the ‘great’ love showed me that I deserved more and I deserved better.
Then HE came along. I was minding my own business, and then HE came along.
To say that he was unexpected is an understatement. To say that I was flabbergasted does not do the tale justice.
HE is someone bigger than my fears, more aggressive than my self defense mechanisms, a light brighter than my own, and yet HE is more.
I have no idea how this story finishes, and by the time I do, I hope that my arthritic hands can no longer type the tale, because I don’t want this story to have an ending.
If 6:01 comes and I have to have a talk with St. Peter….I will simply say thank you for sending HIM my way. Thank you won’t be nearly enough….but I have a lot of sins to discuss and negotiate with St. Peter….it could take a while.