I consider myself opinionated – but not a hypocrite. That would be why I am making a confession.
I am only thankful that my lifestyle friend Pierre is not close as I type this.
If you know me you know the crusade I have about flip flops.
I hate that women wear them all of the time, no matter what they are wearing, no matter where they are going. I find them unfashionable, I find them annoying to see and hear.
I hate that women wear them in the winter and on the concrete when there is no water or sand around.
Flip Flops are the devil and I promised that my first activity when becoming queen of the world would be to burn all of the flip flops.
It is important to understand that when you say you will never do something the universe goes out of it’s way to make you contradict that statement. What can I say….the universe has got jokes.
I want to make a list of excuses, and they are legitimate ones.
For some reason, TODAY, my legs and feet decided to swell up on me. I don’t mean like a little, I mean like they went from cute to elephant in less than 30 minutes. It was unpretty to say the least.
I walked the streets of Philadelphia handling business and talking to a friend on the Blackberry, as my legs grew and grew, and my feet began to look like bread rising in a pan in my patent leather pumps.
If you know me, you understand that I am typically armed with a pair of thick fuzzy socks, that I will whip out in a heartbeat. I’ve walked the streets of Newark, Manhattan, and Philly in fuzzy socks and basically I said fuck it my feet hurt if you don’t like it kiss my entire ass.
This was different though, quite different. My feet hurt yes, but they kept growing as well.
By the time I got off the train and onto the bus that will take me to the hill that will take me to my house, the shoes had cut one foot so severely that I saw blood.
I had a choice. I could walk the 4 blocks up the hill in bare feet because it was obvious the shoes had to come off….or I could stop at the Korean, and do the unthinkable.
I am ashamed and I am disgusted.
They cost $3.99, and they are in the trash as I type this.
But for 20 minutes as I hobbled up the hill barely able to walk……
You may point & laugh now…I have earned it.