When The World Ends

So what are you doing May 22, 2011?  

I tried to ignore this but it kept popping up in to my conversations yesterday so following my policy I sit here at the keyboard.

I don’t believe in the rapture, or Armageddon, or the apocalypse.  I was raised in a Christian based religion, and when I got older and started picking my own churches I chose to be a Baptist.  I never did quite buy into the jesus is coming get your shit in order theory.

The concept of life ending is something that I never grew into.  I have a different vizion now as I approach 40, and I have a child, and I watch my own mother’s mortality, but the rapture….not gonna be able to do it.

The concept that the eye in the sky will take 144,000 of us to turn into angelic priests and minister to the billions and billions left who are on the short bus just never quite made sense to me.  It is believed by others (of course) but that concept always made me want to ask questions and toss out the side eye.  I used to ask questions – and I was told that my faith was not strong enough, and that I needed to not doubt the word of god.

Then I would say some stupid thing like….ummmm how do we know this is what god said? 

Yeah, people tended to get upset when I would make that statement.

Organized religion although I participated for most of my adult life never held the appeal to me that it does to many.  In fact even though my current practice is ‘organized’ the appeal of it to me is that I am not waiting on  the eye in the sky to deliver.

Does the eye in the sky exist?  I have no fucking clue.  At the end of the day – I could be very wrong.  I would like to think though that because of how I live that my ‘sins’ are not held against me. After all it’s not like I walk around kicking cats all day.

But back to the lesson at hand, the rapture.

The good Reverend Harold Camping has proclaimed, again, that the rapture is coming!

Of course he also said it was coming:

Including his “prediction” that this upcoming May 21st will be the end, this will make the 11th time he’s backpedaled;

1. 1978 – Camping declares to his Alameda Church that the rapture would occur in 1978

2. September 6, 1994 – Camping prediction # 2 – Based on 1994?

3. September 15, 1994 – Camping prediction # 3 – Based on 1994?

4. September 29, 1994 – Camping prediction # 4 – Based on 1994?

5. October 2, 1994 – Camping prediction #5 – Claimed Christ was born Oct 2, in 7AD and would return exactly 2000 years later.

6. December 25, 1994 – Camping prediction # 6 – Camping claims that Christ will return on Christmas and that the Bible supported this.

7. March 16, 1995 (Purim) – Camping prediction # 7 – Camping claims this is “Watch # 1″ of a new wave of dates.

8. September 24, 1995 – Camping prediction # 8 – Camping claims this is “Watch # 2″ – Camping claims that there is Biblical evidence of Christ returning “383 days” after September 6, 1994. Camping also claims that September 24, 1995 is 721 + 91 Ceros(A ceros is little over 18 years – 223 lunar cycles or revolutions. A ceros is the complete revoluation of the sun, moon, stars and planets) – Camping claims that these revolutions can predict the end. Camping also states that if you divide the 2300 days of Daniel 8 by the number “6″ you get 383. Thus, according to Camping, you can add 383 days to September 6, 1994 and come to September 24, 1995. September 24, 1995 ends the magic 383 day period.

9. April 3, 1996 – Passover (Watch # 3)- Camping prediction # 9 – Camping claims that there is Biblical evidence of Christ returning 191 days after September 25, 1995 on the Passover.

10. May 3, 1996 – Camping prediction # 10 – Camping claims that there is a 30 day grace period after April 3, 1996 which Christ can return.

I think I will take my chances and make plans for the 22nd – the odds are in my favor.

Not only do we have a history of bad predictions there is also this resemblance:

Sorry I can’t take advice on the rapture from the dude from Poltergeist II.

But I did locate a cool Armageddon song for the occasion:

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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