So in the list of things that I will go to my grave being embarrassed about one of them includes: I watched an episode of Tyra.

Hey #dontjudgeme

The television was on that station and my hands were otherwise occupied so I could not grab the remote. By the time I could grab the remote I no longer wanted to because the ‘topic’ was bothering me.

Sugar Babies.

A woman, typically young, typically what common society would call attractive, who accepts gifts trips and money from older more affluent men.

In other words every single one of us at some point regardless of if we want to admit it or not.

Tyra was waving her abnormally large forehead back and forth chastising a young woman who had the brass balls to allow some older man to pay her tuition for her Master’s degree.

Sure he did other things as well like buy her jewelry and pay her apartment rent, but he was also paying her school tuition and books.

How DARE she sell her time and her sex for a Master’s degree.



It got me a little hot under the collar and not in a good way.

Don’t get it twisted I am about women empowering themselves.  We need a lot of that in this misogynistic society.  Please do not allow the message to get lost in my standing ovation for Master’s degree girl.

I have zero issue with what the child does with her body, and her time, in her effort to get the pigskin. 

I can applaud her actions faster than I can the 15 year old girls I see out here these days giving away ass for a #4 Yaki bag of weave and a Happy Meal.  Oh yes I have seen it.  And that turns my stomach.

What is the difference Nicole you ask?  The big picture.

This woman on Tyra was accepting gifts from her sugar daddy to get something material.  While I am quite sure he also paid for that horrific weave she had on her head (author note: I find almost all weaves horrific) – he was paying for her to complete her 2nd college degree so when she turns 45 and the breasts are not as perky she still has the ability to transition herself into a career that will maintain her lifestyle.  Could she go the rest of her life being a kept woman?  I suppose.  Her degrees say that she doesn’t HAVE to – she is giving herself an option.

Now let’s come back to the ghetto couture brain surgeons I run into in the neighborhood and on SEPTA…..

I question the long term benefits of a double whopper with cheese and a pair of Tims.

Sure you won’t be hungry for a few hours, and well gee you won’t be barefoot when you walk to the chinese store for your shrimp fried rice, but what have you established for your future other than high cholesterol and a cashier position at Target?

I will let you think about that for a while, in the meantime I will tell a couple of stories.

I have not always been a stay at home caretaker and writer of utter nonsense that people seem to like to read.

There was a time in my life that I rolled with the ballers…..literally.  My romantic history includes one NBA player and two NFL players.  It also includes a handful of men just as ‘rich’ as the higher profile men previously mentioned, but their stacks came from investment banking and law degrees from Princeton & Yale & Stanford.  My history also includes a guy who drove a Nissan Sentra – and had a Black card.  No the two do not seem to mesh but if you have been around people with REAL money you understand that looks are deceiving. 

Did I accept gifts from my romantic partners?  I sure did.  I have told the story before about how one bracelet sold paid the bills for a calendar year. 

I didn’t walk into those relationships attempting to become a sugar baby, and I certainly do not fit the textbook definition of a sugar baby.  What I am – what I was – what I will always be is a practical woman. 

I am not impressed by money and status, but I understand its relevance in the world. 

Having a 7 figure bank account will not get my attention, but if you happen to accidentally catch my attention and there are 7 figures present, there are standards.

A millionaire does not eat caviar for breakfast every morning, and a pauper doesn’t eat oatmeal for dinner every night.

When for example Kenneth one of my lawyer exes rolled up to say hello to me, we were in 7-11 at the coffee station.  I did not know at the time he was worth 4 million, he was just a guy in sweats asking me to pass the half & half.

Who I am – and what I project did not allow him to consider that by the time he’d planned our first date that I would be a Reeboks & White Castle kind of girl.  We shared a wonderful summer of adventure with one another, doing things like 7 days in Sag Harbor (google it I am on a roll here) and kicking off our shoes to hop in the fountain on the Ben Franklin Parkway. 

It is about standards, and the big picture.

I met a few months later the girl he dated after me.  His treat for her?  A weekend at the Double Tree Hotel on South Broad St.  She’d never been to a hotel as nice as the Double Tree.  I neglected to explain to her about the difference between the Four Seasons and the Double Tree.  Seemed cruel to do that.

Do I get upset when I see a sugar baby?  Not at all, at least if she is being smart about it.  I should say my definition of smart, yours could vary.


Tyra rolled out woman after woman to complain and bitch about how this sugar baby was doing things the wrong way.


Who the hell am I – or anyone else for that matter – to tell this honors student that she is doing it wrong.  SHE IS DOING IT!  That should be enough for us.  It is not though – instead we figure out how to nip at her Manolo heels in bitterness.

Stop it.

Who you need to be barking at is Bonquisha with her bubble gum pink and lime green weave trying to look like Nicki Minaj.

Put down the hateraide and listen for a moment.

A friend reminds me of a quote from a movie:  Women have 100% of the pussy and 50% of the money.

#duh #winning

That is if you don’t settle for the rooty tooty fresh and fruity buy one get one special at IHOP.

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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