Dear Mr. Lurie

My name is Nicole and I am a football fan.  More importantly I am a Philadelphia Eagles fan.  I have been since diapers, I was raised a good girl with good values.  No front running in this household.

I have been a true and faithful fan when it was not cool to be a true and faithful fan.  It’s who I am – it’s what I do.

Now some of what I am about to talk about is before your time as an owner, but it is relevant to my plea all the same.

I write this on day two of the NFL Draft.

I have suffered through many drafts in my career as a fan, suffer being the key word.

Let’s keep this to first round draft choices, keep it simple. 

The first draft I ever watched was when the Eagles selected Mike Quick.  Mike was a good choice.  He’s also a good counterpart to Merrill Reese on the broadcasts but I digress.  Mike was drafted in 1982. 

It took until 1986 to get someone else of quality, Keith Byars.  Next year came Jerome Brown *openly weeps*, then Keith Jackson.

In 1991 I had the pleasure of saying hello to our #1 pick – Antone Davis.  *sigh*

Mike Mamula came a few years later – ummmm what’s he doing for a living these days?

Tra Thomas came in 1998 – but that was a no brainer, he was from Florida State.

In 1999, The Andy Reid era began.   The era that would elevate the Eagles to an elite team, bring championships home, and produce envy across the league.

In 1999, Andy gave us Donovan McNabb.   Time proved him to be better than Ricky Williams, and time proved him to be worth the pick and the time and the money.  Let’s look at who else Andy has drafted though:

Corey Simon – not a terrible pick but er ummmm how many sacks did he have last year?  Oh yeah he’s not playing
Freddie Mitchell – Fred Ex works for Fed Ex now right? Mr. 4th & 25.5 yards.
Lito Sheppard – competent and at times he excelled. 
Jerome McDougle – still waiting for him to grow into that role right?  I suppose I have time – I have not yet hit menopause.
Shawn Andrews – He does a fucking kick as job protecting the blind side!  What?  He plays for the Giants now?  nevermind.
Mike Patterson – see my menopause comment above.
Broderick Bunkley – meh
Those two first round picks from 2007 and 2008 were the best of the bunch…oh wait that’s right – we gave away our first round picks.  But at least we got Kevin Kolb out of the deal.  He’s going to make a great number one QB ….. for the Cardinals.
Jeremy Macklin & Brandon Graham…the jury is still out, but chances are at his size?  Macklin will end up more Fred Ex than Mike Quick.
I kind of like Brandon, I won’t shade him …. yet.

This year you gave me:  Danny Watkins.

He has a great story…I will give you that.  He is also 26 years old, and only started playing football at 22.  He’s small.  Can’t wait to see  Umenyiora up against him.  That should be good for a 4 stroke game.  It’s not like we do such a great job of keeping big blue off who ever happens to be behind center at the moment.

We have pick number 54 – comes up in just a little while, as I type this.  Do you think just maybe?  Pretty please? We could move up and get a CB? Dimitri Patterson is not your #2 CB.  You should be able to tell that by how many times a game WRs run past him as if her were standing still.

Could we possibly figure out how to salvage this draft?  I think it’s possible. Really I do.  Even after you didn’t move up to grab Prince and you let him go to …oh yeah the Giants.

While we are at it could I suggest you stop doing things like giving a first round pick to a division rival?  Or trading the franchise QB to a division rival?  Sure you got lucky with McNabb, but er umm it could have turned out much worse.  The man has no balls but he still has a serviceable arm.

At some point I would like to be able to say that we had a good draft, and I would like it to be BEFORE I begin to collect social security.


About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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