Once upon a time I was a kinky girl who lived life as a prude.
No they do not seem to be compatible and they are not, which is how I got about the business of embracing my kink and things kink related.
I can recall sneaking into my neighbors house to ‘borrow’ their porn VHS tapes. Yes there was a time everything was not on a disk. Porn in the 80’s was ridiculous in nature. I can recall one with a naked woman eating chocolate cake in her kitchen for no reason except to give the naked Black man the opportunity to walk from her living room into the kitchen to say hey there baby can I have some cake? I watched anyway and never did any of the stuff I saw in the videos.
It was not until the first break up with the ex that I got really creative with how to get off.
Although I was willing to engage in sex with larger groups – by larger I mean more than 2 – there was one limit that I refused to cross – the double penetration. Yes you can hit it from the back and stick a finger in my ass but don’t try two okay?
Mind you its not that I found it disgusting, quite the contrary! Most of my porn were MFM or gang bangs, the *concept* of it turned me on immensely. It was just something that nasty girls did, and well I was not a nasty girl
My first time with 3 guys seemed to be a good time to test the can I cross the line theory. I did not that night. Still it lingered in the back of my brain, can I? Should I? If I do that then what will I do next?
I’d been thinking of sex in the manner that there was always a ceiling that could not be crossed if it were then there was no point of return. I could never be normal again! I did not allow myself to understand THEN that who and what I was was completely normal and I needed to stop kidding myself.
Let me stick a bullet in your ass – was said to me one evening from a partner who shall remain nameless. Can’t you just fuck me in the ass I asked? I was distressed that he wanted to stick a bullet in my ass because then the next thing you knew he was going to be setting me up for a 23 dude gang bang. Yeah, I stretch sometimes.
At the end of the night the bullet in the ass while getting slammed in the coochie was a quite pleasant experience. And there were not 22 men waiting in the closet to go AHA!
The line was still not crossed though and I was determined that it would never be!
One afternoon with a different partner who shall remain nameless I came even closer.
First out came the spreader bar. If you know me, you know that my relationship with the spreader bar is similar to my relationship with the hitachi. It does wonderful things to my body that I hate. I drool like Pavlov’s dog when I hear it or see it, and my physical reaction to it is impossible to prevent – but I will tell you that I hate it. I call it evil and many other things, and that in no way prevents it’s use.
After the spreader bar, out comes the wrist cuffs. I know I am in for a difficult time ahead and that I must have fucked up because if he wants me immobile then my ass is proverbial grass. Except he cuffed my wrists to the spreader bar that was at my ankles.
I am now every man’s dream – face down ass up – spread wide – immobile – and gagged. Ladies every semi straight man on the planet would keep you that way 24/7 if he could. There are also some sadistic bisexual females who will do that to you as well. Don’t worry though – I would only keep you like that for a few hours. Unless you were Angelina Jolie…but that is another story for another time.
When the dildo went into my ass I was just fine. We’ve done this before! Okay I am cool with this, hell I even like it! Wait …. what …..is he???????
Why yes he is sticking his dick in my pussy or trying too. There didn’t appear to be room for both the dildo in the ass and the dick in the pussy.
Kegels, and tiny holes for the win!
Umm…..why can I hear the vibrator, what what what oh ummm oooooo wait no it’s not stop that move it I cant its going to make me cum what the hell it’s in DA HELL!
Yes nameless realized what I knew, and refused to accept, a woman turned on enough can do things that she didn’t necessarily think she could do.
He was all the way in, the dildo was all the way in, the vibrator was on my clit and it was about to be a very long afternoon.
We discussed it a few hours later.
How did it feel he asked?
You thought you were too small for that didn’t you?
the conversation was a little more lengthy, but that is the important part.
I was not ready to accept that I liked it. I didn’t want to be a nasty girl! I’m not a nasty girl!
My association with nameless allowed me to explore other ‘taboo’ issues of mine. And it eventually led to my first DP that did not involve the dildo.
I will share that story though in just a little while.