I am a supporter of being out about your sexuality. It doesn’t matter if you are gay or kinky or gay & kinky, my hope is that one day all of us will just come out of the closet.
I strongly believe that when you live your life in the closet you make it possible for people to hurt you with your information.
I think that I have addressed this here but just in case I did not:
A few weeks back an imbalanced person was angry with a friend of mine and decided to hurt her she would disclose information about me. Yeah I know the logic on that sucks but hey I already said she was imbalanced.
The thing is the information ‘disclosed’ was information that was already public, if not common knowledge.
My decision to be out and open about who I am killed that theory before it could begin.
I have not always been out about who I am though.
I was never a child who thought that boys were icky or had cooties. I was also a child who thought that girls were beautiful and wondered what it would be like to kiss them.
Before my first kiss with William – I had a crush for years on a classmate Towanda Gosha. We met in first grade and I thought even then she was the prettiest thing I’d ever laid eyes on and I wondered what her skin felt like.
She was the only person that I could call friend from my elementary school, and she was my very first real person crush. Michael Jackson was my honest to goodness first, but he was not a ‘real person’.
I have always as long as my memory goes back liked girls as well as boys.
In high school, I went to an all girls school. It did nothing to ease my attraction to women. In fact it enhanced it because I did not go to the neighborhood school, I went to a magnet school that contained 3000 girls from all over the city of Philadelphia.
I got to appreciate blondes, Asians, Italians, and that is where my initial affections for redheads started. If you have never seen a vagina with natural red hair? You are truly missing something in your life.
In my early 20’s though after years of conditioning I’d given up on the concept that I could be with a woman.
It was wrong – it was sinful – it was nasty – it was dirty, I’d been led to believe. Add to that the built in prejudice the African American community has against homosexuals and you may understand that I was hesitant to acknowledge I liked breasts.
It was my relationship with the ex that first got my face in a pussy.
It was painfully obvious after our first couple of encounters that he was light years ahead of me sexually. I thought I was hot stuff, but I was an Atari 2600 to his PS3.
|Atari 2600 – on a side note there was not a person alive who could beat me in Space Invaders or Pitfall|
It led to my relationship with John, and my further exploration of my sexuality. I thought I needed to be better in bed for him. It never occurred to me that what I was at that time was perfectly acceptable. Now? I am soooo much better, but even then I wasn’t a lightweight.
It was Easter Sunday. I had plans to go to my friend Carla’s later to get my hair done but I was up and the opportunity presented itself on the phone line – Telepersonals.
There was a couple looking for a third right NOW so I sent them a message – I’m game!
Turns out he lived in South Philly too which was perfect! I would not have to drive all over creation I would be 10 minutes away from my hair appointment.
His name was Troy. Her name? I can not recall. Yes my first lesbian experience and I do not recall her name. She’s in good company though …. there is more than one name that is forgotten to me.
I walk in – she’s already naked on the bed, and he resumes what he was doing before I rang the bell.
She was a pretty tiny brown thing, not the type of woman I would eventually crave but she had all of the equipment that I needed.
After watching them for 15 minutes or so, and taking notes on her ooooh ahhhhh points, he offered her to me.
Okay I thought this is it!
I laid on my stomach and looked at her pussy. It was not remarkable, it was just there.
Okay I thought now what the fuck do I do?????
To give a point of reference, I’d not yet had MY first orgasm, and attempts at oral on me were 100% unsuccessful up until that point.
I had no clue how I would make her ooooh ahhhh, because I had never oooh ahhh’d.
Step two – touch it.
There was absolutely no finesse to my hands then. I didn’t know then how to tease and excite and create anticipation. I just put one hand on either lip and pulled her open.
I do recall that she was almost Crayola pastel pink, and there was this nub thing looking at me when I did that. Since it was there I kissed it.
First I pecked it like you would your great grandmother’s cheek, then I licked it. Her response was immediate. Thank you Troy for priming the pump.
Again my brain went….now what?
So I did something that I’d heard on a comedy show…..I began to lick the alphabet.
No I am not kidding. I shoved my face all the way into her pussy and started licking a – b – c – d – e – f – g – h – …..
Apparently she loved it because around mnop her thighs relaxed into me, her calves were on my shoulders and she was asking Troy where he’d found me. I don’t make the assumption that my alphabet soup was so extraordinary that she could not resist, I know it had just as much to do with all of the hard work Troy put in before I got there…..my ego however did not make that distinction then.
I went through the alphabet a second time, and then started biting (lightly) sucking licking and experimenting. Could I get one finger inside? Yes? Wow so that is what it feels like she’s warm and soft. Can I get 3 fingers inside? hmmm she seems to like this, stroke, and lick hmmmm I think I am onto something.
Almost a half hour later I looked up to see both of them smiling like they’d hit the Cash 5.
I sat up and nameless girl told me to take off my shirt and my pants. Yes I never took my clothes off.
No I said, my period is on, I’m gonna leave now.
So while they sat there dumb founded I grabbed my keys and let myself out.
It was a very good day, and my hair looked FABULOUS when Carla was finished.