P B S P P aka If I Ruled the World

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to live anywhere else or do anything else, but sometimes….just sometimes….America gets it wrong.

It is budget time in the state of the union and cries of we are broke the sky is falling are heard from sea to shining sea.

I think we would be less broke if we hadn’t been occupying a foreign sovereign nation for the past decade, but then again what do I know?

The United States Congress emboldened by voters who ushered in a Republican majority in the House of Representatives has decided it is time to balance the budget, stop increasing the deficit, and pay our own way.

Oh…that shit folk have been saying for years?  Okay.

The Republican House has decided we can do that by getting rid of Elmo and condoms.  Planned Parenthood & PBS.


I most closely identify with the political theory of a Libertarian….government should do these 15 things and leave me alone.  A more honest description is that I am a social liberal and a fiscal conservative.  I agree that spending needs to be reigned in, I just disagree with where the House wants to make those cuts.

Stay out of my uterus, and leave Elmo alone please.  Both are very important to me, and I would like you to NOT fuck with them.


Planned Parenthood mentioned to most folk conjures images of abortion clinics, protesters, and the like.  Ahem….pardon me?  Sarah Palin & dem?  Your personal GYN does abortions too….are you going to cut HIS funding?

First let me share what Planned Parenthood REALLY is…it is primarily a women’s health clinic that provides routine examinations, STD screening and treatment, counseling, cancer screening, blood tests, sterilization, and in some cases termination for women (AND MEN!) regardless of race, age, sexual history, sexual activity. 

If you walk into the door, you can be seen by trained professionals and have your needs met.  This is often done at a reduced cost in part due to federal subsidies.  Planned Parenthood means that Bonquisha can have a healthy coochie in the same way Paris Hilton can…okay those may be poor examples but you get the picture.

The House wants to stop funding Planned Parenthood.  I wrote a blog yesterday about HPV, what I didn’t share was I do not have cancer today because the screenings I received at Planned Parenthood caught things before they escalated out of control.

Have I used Planned Parenthood for other things?  Yep!  In high school even though I wasn’t fucking I could go there to get condoms.  I wanted people to think I was fucking.  In my early 20’s I terminated a pregnancy.  I got BC Pills the Depro Provera shot and have investigated getting my tubes blocked all through Planned Parenthood.  The only reason I am at another office now is because they don’t perform hysterectomies and it is possible that I will need one.

The beauty for me of Planned Parenthood is that I get to see personnel who are trained to understand women’s health, and they do not judge me.  If you’ve read, I like my sex a little off the beaten path….pun intended.  I can walk into the office, talk to the clinician about anything, and get the best medical advice for my situation, with out being called a freak.  My new GYN?  He gave me the side eye when I told him I have sex with both men and women.  We didn’t even get into anything deeper than that.

I need uterus es everywhere to stand up and take a page from Egypt & Wisconsin AFSCME employees and fight for Planned Parenthood.


I already have the solution to the PBS issue….I am sending the midget Dominant to testify.  A growl, a slap on the table, a BITCH, and the funding will come quite quickly.

My 10 year old still watches Elmo.  Considering everything ELSE that is on TV these days?  I am happy that he watches Elmo.  Elmo loves him, and me by default because that little red bastard keeps me sane.

Sesame Street and other PBS programs are important.  Not just to see if Maria & Luis are still alive, and to wonder how the hell they still look the same as if you were still 4 years old.

The children’s programming alone is worth it.  If you think I am kidding try explaining good touch/bad touch to your child, and then let Sesame Street try.

If you take away Elmo, what’s the boy gonna watch? Hanna Montana?  No thank you.  I don’t want my 10 year old watching a show ‘designed’ for him with subject material that is more suitable for a 17 year old. 

Where else can I see 3 hours of Dr Wayne Dyer & a Yanni concert? #don’tjudgeme


If I ruled the world we would focus on budget cuts that made sense.  Pulling out of Iraq & Afghanistan is a good start.

We would make budget decisions that made sense..like more funding for early education, and hell education PERIOD. 

Also no one would ever be allowed to wear flip flops if they were not at the beach…but that is another story for another time.

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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