Long Days and Nights

The human condition never fails to disappoint.  I was having a conversation the other day, and I admitted to ‘knowing that I am exceptional’.  It attracts people, in many different ways.  I got to experience just about all of them today and it’s not all that cute sometimes.

The upside is that Vizionz had a shit load of traffic today…the downside is that I got reminded that ‘they don’t care where they kick just as long as they hurt you’.  Funny thing is that person was not trying to hurt me.

Never had a conversation with her, don’t even know her government name, if she walked by me on the street I would not know her to spit on her.

Yet she chose me, along with several other people to hurt because she was angry with someone else.

I fight my own battles and I allow others to choose how they wish to live their lives.  My issues with those I have issues with, are mine.  I expect no one to pick up my battles, I am a big enough girl to fight them all my own.

If you choose to engage with someone that I have an issue with, it will not affect how I deal with you – assuming that you and I have an established relationship/friendship.  Just don’t invite us all to a dinner party and expect there to be delightful chatter.

If you choose to NOT engage with someone that I have an issue with, because I said I don’t ‘like’ them, you are giving me waaaay too much power.  Stop it.

I woke this morning to a message of hate.

Not hate for me, or at least I don’t think this person has hate for me.  Hate for someone else and I was just a simple target.

Mind you I was in a strange place the night before when I went to bed, but I chanted myself to sleep and upon waking I woke up to hate.

The universe always delivers the lessons that you need to learn, if you are open to getting them.

There are so few people that I am ‘close’ to these days.  Even living my life out loud here on the world wide web, I am still not close to many people.  Those I value the most are counted on one hand.  They are the ones who matter.

I have affection for slightly a few more, and there are tons and tons that I really just don’t give a shit about.

This morning after talking to one of those people that I value….I looked in on the others that I value and realized….I made the right decision.

If I were cloak and dagger about my life, what went out into cyber space today could have hurt me severely.  It is because I am not, that it generated, a phone call, two blog entries and chanting for healing for the person who is obviously broken.

Someone that I have MAD affection for got ‘outed’ this past summer.  He was not as fortunate and is still recovering from it.

Me?  After I hit send, I don’t ever have to mention this again.

What was tossed out with venom, needs not be met with venom, I can choose a different path and I will.

I did reach out to her though…in her fog she didn’t see it but that is just fine too. 

The universe has nothing but time and all lessons will be learned…in this life or the next.

I am surrounded by people who actually care about me, family that I actually love, and supports who are stronger than one could ever imagine.

And boy am I thankful for that.

Bonnie & Clyde are my success story as are so many other people along the way. 

I am not as imperfect as I have been telling myself.

In the words of Jill Scott…and we ALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT JILL SCOTT:

hate on me hater now or later cause I’m gonna do me you’ll be mad baby hate on me hater I’m not afraid of you what I got I paid for you can hate on me

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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