It’s past your bedtime, but I wanted to write this in semi peace since it is about you.
Your momma has issues sometimes but never with you. You are perfect and beautiful in every way and I am lucky to be your mother.
You made your presence known almost right away, and from that first wave of morning sickness, you have changed my life.
I knew almost right away that you would be exceptional, I just didn’t know how much and how I would handle it.
I can chuckle now thinking back to when I carried you, and how stubborn you were, even then. No I will not open my legs for the ultrasound! How many times do I have to tell you no potatoes! It’s crowded in here no I will not move out of your rib cage! Yes I am doing the perculator in here, I am bored I’ve got nothing to read! Go pee, this bladder is taking up room, yes I know you just peed 10 minutes ago but go pee again! Where did all the water go? I’m supposed to do what? Go where? Hell no that’s not big enough, come get me!
And that was just in your first 35 weeks.
My favorite memory ever is of seeing you for the very first time. I was asleep when you were delivered. Mommy had Forrest Gump doing the anesthesia. You got here at 2:22pm, and I didn’t see you until 430.
I woke up in the recovery room looking for you but they’d already taken you to the nursery. The big kid nursery, because even though you were technically 4 weeks early you were 7lbs14oz, and 22 inches long, and perfect.
I kept asking mom mom and the nurses about you, and finally they said they would take me to my room.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! I want to see my son. I had to look at you and think of a name for you, since I’d been calling you Kayla, convinced the universe would never curse me by sending me a BOY!
I was stapled up and beat up, as they wheeled me into the labor and delivery unit, and past the big kid nursery. I threatened to get off the gurney so they stopped by the window.
And there you were.
There were 8 other babies in the nursery, but you were right there, in the middle, under the heat lamp. You looked HUGE! Those other mommies had 5 and 6 pound babies, you looked like Andre the Giant!
You were there under the heat lamp with your legs wide open (oh sure NOOOOOOOOOOOOOW you open your legs) and your arms behind your head, and you were sleeping.
I’ve never seen so much hair on a baby as you had on you.
There he is they said, that’s your son.
I still tried to hop off the gurney and run to you but they convinced me to wait 10 minutes. And I did.
Your mom mom, your Aunt Valerie and your cousin Kyle were there when they brought you in, filling the bassinet almost all the way.
They put you in my arms and I cried. And cried and cried and cried.
Holding you for the very first time I knew that nothing would ever compare, and it still has not.
You give me lovely memories every day, you give me gray hair every day ::side eye::, but I still look at you and see that tiny baby they said was mine.
Mind you I still want a DNA test during football season, but I know that you are mine. Who else but me could produce a child so stubborn?
When I am 104, and my own name has escaped me, I will remember holding you that very first time. No matter what else mommy accomplishes, no matter what else she sees, no matter what else happens, that moment will always be my favorite. Forever and ever amen.
I knew unconditional love for the first time that day. Is there any greater gift on the planet?