The Champ is Here

Today the representatives meet to tell me who is going to piss me off in the Superbowl.

Yes I am bitter.

Not a lot but I am still bitter.

I thought that I would have written more about football so far.  But then the Minnesota game happened. I suddenly didn’t want to talk about football because I realized that our team is still coached by Andy Reid, and apparently his magic underpants have lost their mojo.  They will not be bringing sexy back.

Now as a lil lil girl I watched football.  I did it because Daddy watched football.  I was (and still am) a Daddy’s girl.  My Daddy is no longer named Lewis, but I remain a Daddy’s girl.

As a lil girl I watched football because my momma said I had to.  She watched football.  She never taught me WHY she watched football, or just how handy it would come in later in life she just said watch – so I did.

I was born in Philly.  There is only one team that I can ever root for.

Fly Eagles Fly

The Philadelphia Eagles are my team.  Ride or die. Win or lose. Marion Campbell or Andy Reid.  For Life.

As a lil girl I watched this pussy line up behind center:

Ron Jaworski aka Jaws

Yes I called him a pussy.  Every time this man dropped back the fear in is eyes was tangible and the term happy feet was invented for him.  I don’t give a damn what anyone else says he was a pussy.  He is currently one of the WORST football commentators in mix….he is with ESPN and the amount of time this man spends in a game sucking the dick of the QB who has the ball would make Vanessa Del Rio jealous.  Can you tell I was not a fan of the Jaws?

As I grew boobies, the man behind center was:

Randall Cunningham

Randall was the prototype.  There was nothing like him on the field at that time.  And he was OURS!  Was a good QB?  Meh – he was adequate.  He could have used an offensive line.  But Randall made a lot of little Black boys realized that they too were ‘smart’ (NFL code for White) and could play QB.

I suffered through people named Peete & Detmer until in 1999….the savior was born!!!!!!:

Donovan McNabb

The #2 overall pick in a QB rich draft, it was also the draft that produced Ricky Williams.  Truth be told?  I wanted Williams.  Truth be told? McNabb was the better choice.

For a decade Donovan brought legitimacy to Philly.  We were the town that let Reggie White walk.  We will go down in history as the first team EVER to lose to a wild card team in a Superbowl (Raiders 80-81 season)  We gave Ray Rhodes a head coaching job *forehead slap*  We gave RICH FUCKING KOTITE A JOB *segways off cliff*  We said aloud – Mike Mamula could play defensive end.  There have been many painful moment in Philly’s history.

McNabb changed a lot of that.  He was a mobile QB – he was a semi accurate passing QB – and on more than one occasion while passing to folk named Thrash – Pinkston – and Mitchell took this franchise to the NFC Championship.  Donovan would have a Superbowl ring were it not for this rocket scientist:

Andy Reid

He may be the coach in Philly’s history with the most wins, but I still despise him.  I want him gone.  Not now but RIGHT NOW.

You have no idea the dislike that I have for this man.

I believed for a while…oh yes I did.  We were winning!  We were competitive!  We were not the Washington Redskins!!!

Then Andy lost to Chucky (Jon Gruden).   Gruden is not a good head coach – hell he is only marginal as an offensive coordinator.  Tampa bay sure did walk into our house and take our Superbowl shot though.

It was that game that woke me up and made me pay attention.

I need you to understand that there are things about him that irk me – his monotone voice, the way he picks his nose in the press conference….but I can live with those if you bring me a Lombari trophy.

Andy Reid is not capable of doing that.

I have watched him refuse to make adjustments too many times – get out coached too many times – refuse to run the rock too many times – say I have to do a better job too many times to take him seriously.

He insists that the receivers he has are fine, and wastes a first round pick on Freddie Mitchell.  That is just ONE example of his personnel decisions.  They suck.

Look at the Philly receiving core right now and tell me there is someone on the squad who could be a number one on any other team in the NFL…… I’ll wait.

*snores*

Exactly.

Now mind you I love this little boy here:

DeShawn Jackson

But his little fragile ass can’t run across the middle.  For all the fuckery that came with him?  T.O. could (ummm and still does) run across the middle.

Andy Reid also told me that Jaworski version 2.0:

Kevin Kolb

That ^^^^^^^^^^^ man could and would be the starter after the savior stopped turning water into wine….and just whined.

He said that – with a straight face – while this man……

Michael Vick

Was on the roster.

*blank stare*

I won’t bullshit you constant reader….I had no idea that Vick was still THIS GOOD.  I only knew that Kolb sucks.  If Kolb sucks, and Vick is available…you start Vick.  That is logical.  Starting Kolb is not logical …. unless you happen to be Andy Reid.

What happened (big up to Clay Matthews…but you still need a haircut bro) was Vick got the chance, Vick seized the chance, and The Michael Vick story has inspired a whole new generation of little Black boys out there that they too can play in the NFL.

Iffin they don’t have a pit bull that is…..

The fairytale was supposed to be Philly going into the Georgia Dome so that Mike Vick could exorcise his demons and Philly could give Jerry Jones a stroke thinking that the very first Superbowl win for Philadelphia COULD come in his new billion dollar house.

My personal fantasy would have been a Steeler/Eagles Superbowl….played in Miami.  Yes I know that it is scheduled for Dallas this year.  But if you REALLY think that Jerry Jones would let that game happen in his stadium?????? *snicker*

Hell the refs even tried to hand us the game on more than one occasion.

Was Green Bay on fire?  Not really….Clay Matthews was  but not all of the team.

Andy Reid  just fucked it up…by being Andy Reid.   Hand the ball off to Shady 30 times?  The Eagles advance.  Be Andy Reid?  Michael Vick has to put the team on his back.  It’s a nice back…but it fell one play too short.  Inches too short.

I will give Green Bay props for not letting THIS happen to them….but I can’t expect every team to lay down like the Giants????  Can I?

So tomorrow..because I am a good little football whore…I have to watch 4 other teams battle for the right to fight for Lombardi.

I can’t say the champ is here….

Maybe next year.

Maybe CBA…..

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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