It’s been a long time since I said hi to you. I remember that I used to talk to you all of the time. Or I did at least after you were gone.
Essentially you were the last funeral I ever went to. At least that I went to because I gave a shit about the person who was no longer with us.
I want to tell you what a fool your daughter has been acting – but why should I waste my breath right?
Mom got sick a few years back – 2007. And like you always told her I came through for her.
I look at her adoration of Kahlil, and realize that I used to see that same look in your eyes.
There is a joke that a grandparent is an old person now trying to get into heaven – but I know that a grandparent is just a person who can love without having to be directly responsible.
I may not ever get that chance – but if I do I hope to look @ my babies the way you used to look at me.
I made a promise that mom would not have to live as you did in her last days and so far so good. It’s work but she’s worth it.
I wish I’d been older to show you that you were worth it too.
I wish that you’d gotten to meet Kahlil too,
hell that would have added 10 years to your life that Nikki had a baby, your Nikki.
I always wanted to live in the house on 30th St. No one but the two of us appreciated just how beautiful that house was.
I don’t think that will ever be an option but I want to tell you that I know what it was worth.
30th St never held the pain for me that this house does, and I think that is because I knew YOU loved me in that house. Love really does make a difference.
I tell Kahlil about you and I don’t know if he understands but I want you to know that I never forgot and never will.
I miss you.