Insomnia

I get it on occasion…and at what seems to be the most inopportune times.  Is there ever a good time to NOT rest though?

So I was tooling around Fetlife and a friend commented on a thread about collars.

Beautiful isn’t it?

I won’t discuss what the retail on this item is…but I will say…it’s not just for a dog.

The collar is the symbol of ownership in my world.

Many equate it to a wedding ring – some even say it is deeper.

For me?

Marriage is all about the paperwork…I do not have to love you to marry you.  (that is a whole other blog)  Marriage makes things simple for the person you choose it has nothing to do with commitment or love or attachment.  It just means the state says I get your stuff.

Now soooooooo many people do not feel that way so I no longer make the argument – but that is what marriage is for me.

A collar?  Oh it IS much deeper.

I will only accept a permanent collar from one person in my lifetime.  Period.

There is the outside possibility that there will be training collars along the way – but the collar of ownership?  There is only one for me.

With that collar, I would suspect would also come marriage – but again that is the legal part of it for me.  After all if Daddy gets hit by a bus I can’t take my collar to the Social Security Administration and say I would like survivor benefits please.

I take collaring very seriously.

I own two collars similar to this:

I do not wear them though.  I bought them at a time when I was still defining for me what I wanted out of this lifestyle.  Today I do not wear them because it is a disrespectful sign (in my opinion of course) of those (like me) who have WORKED to EARN their collar.

I don’t even wear necklaces any longer – since my eventual permanent collar will look similar to a necklace.  I don’t want it ever twisted.  Once you see the item on my neck you know that this is who I have chosen to serve until death do us part.

I take extreme offense at those who wear a collar because it looks pretty or it makes them feel good, but since I have friends and associates who choose to do that?  I typically bite my tongue about it.

There are times these days when I DO wear a collar…

No that’s not it…I just thought it was pretty.

I wear a collar when I am with a certain someone because that is what is required of me.

As I kneel for it – as well as the procedure that comes just before the placement –  it puts me into the head space that I need to be in to serve.

Quite honestly with this person?  All that is needed is his presence, but the extra rituals are just off the chain.

Given my own way?  He will eventually replace my current collar with the permanent one.  That is what I work for, that is what I wish for.

There are no guarantees though.

As I watch the clock turn to 3, I have to wonder aloud, if it is that no guarantee policy that is the cause of tonight’s insomnia.

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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One Response to Insomnia

  1. Felicia says:

    There are collars and there are chokers.

    To many the triple goddess necklace above is a choker.
    The first and second pictures are collars.
    One is sacred and one is superficial.

    I see people wear certain symbols on pendants and I am a little offended but I remind myself to them it may just be a pretty thing or something different that holds meaning for them.

    I see your point.

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