It Could Be Just Me

One of the conclusions that I came to as a single woman is that in this Noah’s Ark world, I would not have a mate.  I am different than everyone else that I know. 

It is one thing to be unique, another to not blend.

I used to tell people that I blend, but I do not really.  I stand out.  A lot.  Most days I am okay with that.  Sometimes I am not.

I often find pride in being different, but sometimes things happen that make you realize just how not a part of the pack you are.  That can be a difficult thing to digest at times.  It could land you in therapy. Twice a week.

As I was off being different, I forgot that the people around me do not think like me.  I get reminded from time to time.

I wonder if there is an advantage with thinking like everyone else…but I suspect that I will never know.  I can understand that people think in such a way but the logic behind it is lost on me.  I seek logic, but as I am learning, at times it is the most illogical thing that works the best. *shrug*

So tonight……ex sex.

This is a touchy topic for me.  Seriously.

I have a very specific opinion: why does it matter if you are no longer with that person. 

I also have some very real life experience that both formed my opinion, and almost knocked my opinion off it’s foundation.

I am 38.  I have more than one ex.  There are lots more that I have been with in the biblical sense, but I am not counting them for the purpose of this topic.

I mean real ex. As in like my ex fiance…my former Master…someone that I dated for more than 43 seconds and had sex with more than once.  I even loved some of them.

Now things get a little more complicated….I still have sex with the occasional ex from time to time.

But my general opinion is …… if you want it knock yourself out.

I am not of the mindset that if I have been there you should not go there.  I can tell you why you may not want to think about the white picket fence…but I will also tell you just how great in bed they are.  But with an exception, my exes are not off limits.  Funny thing is even the exception has and ‘exception’ to that rule.

If I know that you were involved with someone that I consider a friend?  I will not go there.

Now it’s not because I think that it is wrong…I need to make that clear….I DO NOT THINK THAT IF YOU HAVE BROKEN UP WITH SOMEONE THAT MEANS THEY ARE OFF LIMITS TO YOUR FRIENDS. 

I do not go there….because women are irrational.

It is 100% irrational to put restrictions on dick that you are not sitting on.

Even if you are sitting on it….restricting it is an exercise in futility….but if you are not currently having visitation with the penis on a regular basis?  It is irrational to limit where the dick goes.

It is a dick…it is going to go someplace warm, wet, and where the owner of said dick wants to be.  It could be your friend, it could be your mother, it could be your brother, but it is not yours to direct where it goes.

Apparently there is a code with females that you don’t do your friends ex.

Translation: I will direct where the dick goes even if it is not attached to me any longer by pulling the friend card.

yeah okay….irrational.

Irrational or not … I still adhere to the code. 

I do it because I understand and accept my friend being irrational.

I am still waiting for a reasonable explanation of the code…but may be waiting until dementia for that one.  And if that comes?  I still won’t  understand it.

There is someone that I am HIGHLY attracted to.  I mean someone who if I were not bb….I would want.  Seriously he is that attractive to me.  I see in him just about everything that I want in a man. 

If we are living the 80/20 rule, he is at about 90.  Yeah he is that good.

I will never touch him because he was once involved with a friend.

Now mind you…he is also attracted to me, we could make some fireworks…except he dated my friend.

Well dating is not 100% accurate…what they did was a lot more intense….but nope can’t go there.

So I have to deny myself pleasure….he has to deny himself pleasure….because it will upset a friend….who doesn’t want him…would never go back to him…isn’t at all interested in him…unless of course he and I were involved.

That is rational?  No it is not.

The funny thing is lots of men do not have this same issue.  They hold onto the friend card until it needs to be played for someone they value…not just any ol chick.

Women are pulling out the friend card because they like how someone looks in their jeans.

How do I know this?  It’s how I met my BEST friend.

Perhaps in my next lifetime I will find the WHY that is so elusive to me now.

But then again, next lifetime I will be a man, and have a penis that I did not have to buy at the adult toy store.

But then again it could just be me…I am different.

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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