In a given day 1000 thoughts for a blog enter my head. Thankfully I don’t write them all down because you would do little else but read …. while I appreciate the support I do understand that you have other lives to live.
It is almost 8 on NYE and I was tooling around Fetlife, singing with the IPOD, sitting on an ice pack (don’t ask) and being fat came to mind.
I happen to be fat. I am not plus sized, or big boned, or rubenesque, or curvy, or BBW I am fat. This is not the largest I have been but it is also not the smallest. At the end of the day…fuck it I am fat.
The following pictures are examples of my fatness:
I am not a small woman by any stretch of the imagination.
Of all those pictures … the one where I felt the FATTEST? The one from high school in the red pants and black & white sweater.
As you can also see…..that is the picture of me in which I am the smallest.
I like most women suffered from a warped sense of self and self esteem and not understanding the power of being a woman.
As you can see from the other pictures? I got over it.
It was a process though, a long one where I had to learn to love myself and one that I still struggle with at times.
This blog is inspired by a thread that I read where a husband wanted to take his wife out on NYE and she did not want to know because she was now “fat”.
Now lots of people hopped on with some advice about how to get the wife to go….and I didn’t because I am still….what?
I have friends who HATE their bodies. They are thinner than I am – some are prettier than I am – and they all have partners. They HATE their bodies. What?
I am really really – truly truly having a problem digesting this.
You can’t tell me that I am not the baddest bitch on the block. You can stand me next to Halle Berry & Angelina Jolie and I will still walk out with their men & yours. Yet I am fat.
How you ask? I understand the power of being a woman.
A beautiful young woman that I know hates her stomach because it has stretch marks. Even though her man has kissed her stomach and has told her that he loves every inch of her. Yet she still won’t put on lingerie because her stretch marks could show. You know those stretch marks that he has seen and doesn’t give a fuck about? Those.
Another friend – well a couple actually – have gone to the extreme of having gastric bypass surgery because they were ‘fat’. Well one was she was over 400 pounds. She had the surgery and now works out every day with a trainer. The other was at 300 pounds.
Let me repeat…they went to the extreme of removing one of the organs of their body because they were ‘fat’.
It’s like removing a kidney because you pee too much. Neither one had any major health issues because of the weight…they were just fat.
WW. Jenny Craig.BunsofSteele all run around telling women how horrible it is that they are fat.
Fat discrimination is rampant.
Is there really a problem with being fat? Yes & No.
One thing I need you to understand though constant reader? I don’t give a fuck that I am fat. Yes I have lost 30 pounds in the past year…but I lost the weight to keep up with my son not because I thought something was wrong with me because I am fat.
When I lose the next 30 it will be for any reason OTHER than something is wrong with Nicole because she is fat.
At 225, I am beautiful. I am sexy. I am vibrant. I am what I am supposed to be. I will be that at 300 pounds or 170 pounds. And Daddy is still gonna want to rip my clothes off at 300 pounds or 170 pounds. And I will still work the stripper pole at either weight.
I love me. I embrace me. I am the best thing since sliced bread. Stretch marks and all.
If you do not have the inclination to see that back when I was a size 22? Your loss. Now that I am an 18? Your loss. When I am a 14? Your loss.
The vizion from the bottom is that I am the fucking shiznit. And if you don’t think so bite me.
Call me fat if you want to … but this fat bitch is what’s hot in the streets these days. Because I said so.
Happy New Year.